Kids don’t
learn from people they don’t like!- Rita Pierson
The teacher-student relationship is an incredibly
delicate balance that vacillates during the year. Many factors can change the way a teacher
feels about her students and the way a student feels about his/her
teacher. Although all of this is true, there
are many ways to avoid the inevitable disconnect. Show your students that they matter.
The quote above really resonates with me because I don’t
have a poker face. Many times my
emotions show up all over my face, whether I want them there or not. It can, at times, be my fatal flaw. However, one thing that I’ve
learned, with children, is that they are more perceptive than most adults.
In a high school English course, I was addressing an
issue with the students and I sincerely said, “I’m
not upset, but!” One of the students interjected right in the
middle of my statement.
He said, “You
always say that, but you really are upset by what we are doing.” He was right.
It was at that point that I stopped telling my students one thing, but thinking
something else. It is okay for them to
know that you are disappointed, pleased or even satisfied with their
actions. What’s
not okay is the alternative. Students
don’t
like what they can’t trust. So in turn, if my students don’t
trust me, then they can’t really like me. They don’t
know what I’m thinking or if I am going to tell
them the truth when it counts. The term for this is “shady”.
I want my kids to learn from me, so I am honest with
them about how I feel. It may not make
them happy, but it will help them trust me and that will allow them to open up
and learn. I am not implying that you
should give them feedback in the most unfiltered ways, but I am suggesting that
you give them true feedback.
I’ll leave you with
this. A few years ago, one of my high school
juniors came to me after a summer of having me for English and she said, “I
really like the fact that you were honest with me when you didn’t
like my behavior, but that didn’t change the way that you
graded my work. You were always fair.”
Be honest with your kids, but don’t
let that change your teacher-student dynamic.
I’ve
learned, and am still learning, that delivery is everything.
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